Numb
by brittnibrittni
Summary: Season 3. Tommy meet my boyfriend Tom.. I DO NOT OWN INSTANT STAR.
1. Karma

I always thought he was different. There was just something about him that made me believe everything would work out. Sure, he may have hurt me and you'd think I'd learn but I always thought everything he did was in some twisted way proof of just how much he cares about me.. well atleast I thought it was, but now ever since that night he drove away from me standing in the streets calling out his name.. leaving me with no answers to my questions, no returned phone calls and with no looking back to see if i was okay. Because of this i've finally became Numb. Numb to the pain. Numb to the heart break. Numb to Tom Quincy. 

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**JUDE'S POV.**

You know thoes moments when your absloutly terrified because your completely unsure on what someones next actions are going to be that your actually shaking in your boots..? yeah well i'm having one of thoes moments right now, really, I think we all might be.. It had been 3 weeks since that night Tom Left.. and Shit was about to hit the fan..

"Jude, this is huge.. do you have any idea what this is going to do to your career, your image and your future in the music business.. and at GMajor?" Darius said calmly as he looked at me and then at the photos of my drunken disastor of night with Mr. I take advantage of heartbroken 17 year olds and get them wasted just so I can black mail them for 50 thousand dollars. Fuck he makes me sick.

"Darius, I'm sorry.. I wasn't thinking.. my head was..elsewhere." along with my heart..I though to myself that this is all Tom's fault.. I mean did he reall have to.. OH GOD NO STOP! Tommy's dead.. to me atleast.. Stop blamming him.. it's time that I take responsibiltiy..I have to show Darius that i'm worth it.. i'm better then this..better then Tommy.  
I walked over to Darius with sudden confidence and didn't just say to him.. I told him. "Darius i'm a hit and i'm not going to pay this sick bastard anything. He want's to show the world.. let him.. It will just show them that i'm human.. I make mistakes! I have flaws.. but I can overcome them and make it through this.." YES! That's what I need.. I need to be strong.

"Jude, i'm going to say this once.. " He sounded pissed off almost annoyed with my thought. Shit, i'm fired.. I saw a sign at Burger King saying that they were hiring.. "Your.." fuck here it comes.. "truly amazing.." WHATTTTTTT! "I don't know any other artist that would think of putting the.. "i'm a human" approach to this and not worry. Your fans are going to see you as a role model an inspiriation and think that they can make it through anything because you did."

"Darius I can't believe that.." Darius cuts me off with a laugh and just smiles.. "Get in that studio.. I want a hit to land just as these pictures come out that way all the hype will be about you because bad press is still better then no press and were going to use it." He signals for me to leave out of his office as I blow him a kiss and leave with a smirk on my face..

I walk into studio A seeing Sadie and Kwest waiting there for me with looks on there faces like i'm about to tell them that I ran over there puppy.. "Well.." I start off trying to play it cool.. "Darius.. he want's a hit!" I yell with a laugh.  
Sadie looked so confused.. I had to explain.. seeing there faces go from almost death to sheer excitment about me still having a job!

"Jude thats great.. thats even better then great that's a miracle!" Sadie Jumps over to me a plants a kiss on my cheek. "Well i better leave you two alone to make this happen." Sadie says as she kiss kwest, tells him to call her later and leaves the studio.

"Alright let's do this then babygirl.." Kwest directs me into the soundroom "I have a song I think will be exactly what Darius wants" Kwest shows some hesitation and then insits I go in and give it a shot and i begin with my song one that I'd written in these last few weeks to express what I what I was feeling.. This was going to be my last song about Tommy.. I didn't want to use it but I knew it was better then good and that I was a song that would knock everyone out.. and that's what Darius wants right.. and it's my job..

I start singing and I see kwest nod in agreement that this was the song.. the hit.

"How was that?" I asked as soon as the last words left my mouth.

"It was unbelieveable. Let's record it right now and get Darius to listen..." Kwest replied, pushing some buttons on the switchboard to set up for the recording of the song and with that I gave it my all wanting to nail it on the first try.. and I did.. and with that Kwest took it and went straight to Darius for a listen.. he told me to wait outside cause he wanted to talk to Darius alone first.. I didn't object.. I just waited..

Hell my heart was pounding so fast It hurt.. then there was a movement at the door and out walked Darius and Kwest.. Darius just smiled and said "Jude.. If this doesn't go to number one.. people have some serious issues.." ekkkk! i let out a big smile and just hugged Darius as tight as I could.. greatful that he loved the song.. "Yeah Jude.. that song is magic." Kwest said again I knew he was proud to be apart of it.. "Jude.. That Song.." That Voice.. That's.. and with that I looked at Darius office door and out walked none other then Tommy Q with a toy truck in his hand.. followed out by a little girl who immediatly ran to Portia.. My heart stopped.. i couldn't breath.. I couldn't help but think.. He back?..Why Now?.. Whos that Girl with Him? God He looks Good!..but all that stopped going threw my head as i remembered that I was now.. better then tjkhis.. better then Tommy.. he meant nothing to me..

He walked over and out of his mouth came words I've been dying to hear.. **"Jude, I'm Sorry.. Your all I thought about"  
**I wanted to hit him.. hard.. but he wasn't worth that.. he wasn't worth getting upset about.. I just looked at him and smiled. "What did you say your name was again..?" Tom looked confused. "I must have forgot." and with that I walked away from him and didn't look back at Tommy who was now a crushed man that had just gotten his heart ripped out and stomped on it.  
Karma's a bitch..


	2. Trailer trash barbie

Tommy's POV 

There she was.. Jude Harrison.. hell she look good.. even better then i remembered. Her hair was longer, extentions maybe and it was much blonder, she had this glow about her and god her face.. she looked like she had just came off the front of a magazine cover.

I knew she was going to be upset but she couldn't understand what I was going through, I could have phoned her and let her know what was going on but there just wasn't enough time..I'd just had to explain that Kara the little girl with me is mine and Portias God daughter and that her parents were going through a tough time and needed me and Portia to help.  
I owed it to Portia to go and get her and take care of it and her for once showing some responsibility and Once Jude knew all this she would forgive and once I told her how i felt.. we could finally be together.. Here goes.. "What did you say your name was again..?" What did she just say..? "I must have forgot." and with that she walked away.. I've never felt this before I mean.. Jude acted like I didn't exsist.. like we didn't exsist.

"Kwest what her deal man?" I asked questioning how she could just leave it like that.. "Tom, she just showing you that two can play that game.. you hurt her man.. she isn't the same..maybe you should sit and let me explain whats been going on.. alot has changed in the last few weeks.." kwest looked concered but not for Jude but for me like I wouldn't be able to handle what he was about to say..

We sat in the studio for the next hour and Kwest explained to me how Jude had this drunken night with some guy and how he was going to leak the photos but that wasn't it.. Kwest found out from Sadie that more went on with this guy.  
Maybe drunken sex..Fuck the thought of another guy touching her made me sick.. i'd kill the prick..

Kwest went on "Jude doesn't know forsure but all she knows is that she feels dirty and ashmed about whatever went on, she hasn't told anyone so forget I told you but now shes starting to party alot and getting into trouble but Darius has been real good about things not being exposed.. "

"Kwest man i had no clue but i mean the girls almost 18.. shes bound to party A little I don't see how this is so"  
Kwest cut me off and said quitely "shes just a wreck thanks to you.. shes made herself into everything she used to hate.. She could be Barbies twin.. i mean the girl looks good.. but it's not Jude, She comes into the studio just wrecked from the night before and Sadie thinks shes probably doing drugs too." Jude.. not Jude.. shes not like that.. not my jude.

"I need to talk to her..she needs me." I said to Kwest and then left him alone in the studio shaking his head at me like I was bound to fail.. I knew I wouldn't Jude would come back.. she'd come back to me.. I made my way to my car and started driving to her house as I found my self at her front door i knocked vigriously on the door and waited for an answer.. the door opened but it was Sadie "Tom..? your back.. oh god have you seen Jude.. we need to talk." Sadie started to panic as if She was going to be the one to tell me about Jude's behavior.. "Sadie.. i know" I said sternly.. she looked confused.."Kwest." i explained. "Tom, she wont want to see you.. she blames you.." I felt ashamed like I could have stopped this..

"No I don't blame Tom at all." Jude fired as she came down the stairs.. she looked ready for a night out in a short skirt and a barley there shirt.."i'm gonna leave you two alone to talk" said said as she ran up the stairs..

"I can't blame someone who didn't have any impact on me in any way.." She said it in almost a tone of yelling.. "Jude.. you don't mean that.. we need to talk." "About what..? I don't care Tommy.. i'm done with your excuses.. I'm glad portia's baby finally has a daddy.. too bad it's you of all people." with that comment she started to piss me off. "You shouldn't talk about things you don't know anything about Trailer trash barbie.." I could help it the words just cme out of my mouth.. Jude looked disgusted.. "Is this what you came here for.. I guess you heard about my lifestyle change.. I'm sorry that i'm just trying to have fun.. i mean i am only 17.. i better start living life." she said her age as if it was a curse.. our curse.. "Jude, your 17 start acting it.. instead of some hot shit bar slut whos just turned 21 and is on the prowal." I didn't want her to be on the prowal.. i wanted her to be here with me but with what I was saying I could tell that wasn't going to be happening.. not now atleast.

"..I'm sorry.. it's just.." I had nothing.. i couldn't even appologize to her.. i didn't know what to say.. "Tommy this was alot of fun but my rides going to be here any minute and i really don't want to have to re hatch all of this with you.. we both know what happened.. we both know you left.. the end. You could have stayed but you decided that I wasn't important and you know what.. i've came to that conclusion as well.. your not important to me..I don't have any feelings for you.. not anymore."

I couldn't tell if she was lying or not.. but either way i had to make her see that we belonged together and with that I went up to her and pulled her into a kiss.. it was one from the movies.. out lips were on one another gently our breathing was heavy and our hand in position.. it was perfect..untill she pulled away. "Tommy how dare you.. how dare you.." and with that her hand went from one side of my face to the other. "remember that next time you try to touch me.. Don't touch me..Don't talk to me.. Don't even look at me Tommy." she had made her point and i felt i needed to make mine.. "Jude.. i love you." and with that she was gone out the door.. maybe it would have been better if i hadn't called her trailer trash barbie.


	3. Different Kind Of Tom

**"I love you.."** I thought of those 3 words Tommy had said before I booked it out of the house. I'll never understand him.. How could he think he could call me all this names.._trailer trash barbie_.. and just say that out of the blue and expect me to respon acoordingly.. Tommy was out of his mind if he thought that was going to happen.. 

A car pulls up infront of the house just as i make my way out the front door.."Jude let's go." Becky my favorite barstar yells to me as i do what she requests and i jump in the back seat as Tommy runs out of the house after me but now me and the girls we head out for the night. We pull up to Dynasty.. Toronto's hottest club and walk right up to the front.. Jay there and he gives us a big smile when he sees that we arrived.."hows my favorite girl doing?" god, girl.. why does he have to say that.. it just makes me think of Tom.. "I can't complain..Busy Night.. Got enough room in there for us two to get in..?" I say it with a bit of sexual teasing.. i mean hey i'm only 17.. i can't get in this bar by just being cute.. Probably the best thing Becky ever taught me was to make friends in hih places and for me my high place was these bouncers. Jay looks me up and down and says "Only if you save me a dance later.." I give him a smile and wink and wisper coly in his ear "You know it.."

We step in the club and honestly it's never been busier.. "Must be something going on..?" Becky yells to me over the noise but before i could answer some guys walk up to us.. they look firmiliar then i realize who they are as becky gives me a smile.. "Becky you said you were going to be clean tonight!!" they guys were her dealer. Becky got into drugs hard and now she was addicted..She always tries to get me to join in but i look at her mess of a life and know to make better decsions.. "Jude i'm going to go get a drink.." Becky says as she leaves with her men, but i knew it was a lie and that if i went looking i'd find her in the bathroom doing a line or two.. but whatever "..i'm not her babysitter.. not tonight atleast." I keep repeating this as i head to the bar and order myself a drink.

"Vodka..such a strong drink for such a little girl.." A voice beside me from a handsome guy in his twenties says to me.. "..i bet you i could show you a few things to prove i'm not so little." jesus that came out wrong.. i'm not a slut..i try to refrase what i just say and then with a laugh I give up and say.."Hi i'm Jude.." he reached out his hand and with a loud voice he said "I know who you are.. i'm Tom..." fuck just my luck. I must have had a disgusted look on my face cause immediatly his expression went to a confused look.."sorry, just bad experiences with the name.." "Oh well let me change that opinion.. want to go somewhere and get to know each other more..?" Change my opinion eh.. slut.. thats what he thinks of me.. "Not that type of girl Tom" I say as i get up and am about to leave but just before i do he grabs my arm and says "Definatly not that type of Tom.. I mean't maybe we could go get coffee and sit a Tim Hortons and talk.. I mean it's a little loud here." I blushed feeling kind of stupid for assuming "Sure, let me just" Thinking i should find Becky first..but then i thought that she was probably so done for that she wouldn't even remeber if i say anything or not.."Nevermind..Let's Go Tom." I say as we make our way out of the nightclub and head to his car..

"Well tell me about yourself.. I mean you know who I am.. who are you..?" I say as i take a sip of my double double x-large coffee sitting at a table in the 24 hour coffee shop.. "Well My names Tom.." Like i' d forgotten.."I'm 25, I just finished My Pre-Med Degree at the Univesity and am about to start my internship at the Childerns hospital." My mouth must have dropped.."You look suprised..is it that hard to believe that i'm a good guy" he says with a laugh, I laugh too.."I just didn't expect that I guess.. well good for you.. thats really respectable." Tom lets out a laugh.. "And what about you miss rockstar.. hows living the dream..?" Dream more like Nightmare. "Well let's see.. I've been an instant star, dumped on national Tv, Got Left by the guy i thought i loved, Got wasted One too many times.. been blackmailed, almost lost my record contract and now he's back..not so mcuh the dream life.." Tom just smiled and said "Well your doing what you love and sure that comes with a few pains.. but think of what kind of dream your putting out there for kids all across the country.. a dream that they can do anything." He's words calmed me, made me realize what i've been doing they almost made me change my opinion on .."Tommy?"

I look past Tom and see none other then Tommy Q standing at the front tills.. "Jude.." He looks at me and then at the stranger I was with.. "want to interduce me to your new friend.." he says with anger as he walks to my table.. "I'm sorry i don't think he or I have anything to do with you.. so his name shouldn't matter.." Tom reaches out his hand to Tommy and says "Tom" Tommy's eyes grow wide.. as he grabs his hand as says the same. Realizing that this is the Tommy.. "Oh.." Yeah.. Tommy knows i told him all about it.. "Jude can we please talk.. please." Tom gets a look of discomfort on his face. "Jude..i'm going to leave you two alone to talk things out.. Tom do you mind giving her ride home?" What's going on here why is my date leaving "Tommy, no, Tom, no.. Listen both of you I don't want this I don't want to hear what he has to say.. it's going to be a big lie anyways.." I'm almost in tears now thanks to the both of them "Jude.." Tommy says softly.. "Tommy..Don't" I yell.. Tom just looks at me and starts writting something on a napkin "Jude heres my number.. call me when you've figured things out." and without me having a chance to say anything.. He''s gone.. and now theres just me and Tom and my Cold Cup Of Coffee. **"So Tom Quincy You have 5 Minutes.. You better use them good.."**


	4. bigger man

A/N - Thank to the seven who reviewed these last few chapters.. your comments are greatly appreaciated ) keep them coming please.. you wont be dissapointed by the story if you do!!! D D 

Jude took a sip of her coffee forgetting the icy temperature it was now in, Tommy looked at her with thoes his eyes.. his baby blues stared at her with vaunarablilty .. a look she didn't want to face.. not yet atleast.. "Jude.." hearing him say my name made her melt "..i don't want to go another day with you hating me.. i want you understand why I had to leave.." Tommy pleaded with Jude to listen without protest.. "I have a Goddaughter.. me and Portia both do.." Tommy went on and explained every detail to the story.. Jude couldn't believe it.. he didn't leave her.. well he did but he was needed.. "Jude do you understand why I had to go..?" Tom asked full of hope.. There was a big smile on judes face at the news but slowly it started to dissapear as she realzed other things.."I understand.. I understand that your complete jerk.. why couldn't you pick up a phone and call..?.. or explain it in a letter..an email.. anything tom.. anything would have been better then you just leaving me here!!!" She was now yelling in the middle of the coffee shop at a remorseful Tom Quincy.. "Jude..i couldn't.." tommy said as she shot him a look of death.."What are all the phones broken in Montanna..?" Tommy paused for a second "Wrong answer Quincy!" Jude started to leave but Tom grabbed her arm and pleaded with jude to understand "Do you know how hard it was for me to leave..?" He questioned.."I thought bout you every second of every day..but i also thought of how well i know you and that i knew you'd be handling it this way.. i thought it would be best if i gave you space.." Tom's voice softened as he realized his mistake.. She just shook her head "..right there.. that shows you never knew me at all.." Jude was in tears..Tommy reached for her this was the last sight he wanted to see "..Jude." Saying this as he slid his hand along the ivory soft skin of her face..Jude jumped at the felling of his touch.."Tommy don't.. just take me home."

The car ride was silent up untill the point when they reached Jude's place.. The car stopped and Jude let out a breath and said "..Tommy, i understand why you left.." now there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes "but.." she continued.. "..you have to understand that because of the choices you made.. i'm different and so are my feelings towards you.." she lied ".. and i don't think we will ever be the same." with that before tom could even get in a word she was on her way to the front door and dissapeared inside the house.

JUDES POV

I walked away from Tommy again.. i want to forgive him but.. no i wont.. he could have called.. these arguments kept going through my head, i wanted tommy to understand that now i was stronger and not willing to take his bullshit, i wasn't going to just take his sorry ass back..NO, i'm not the same girl.. i want him to know this.. i want..".. i want him though." Jude yelled out. I walked up my stairs as i started to become overwhelmed and headed to my room to lie down.. i knew tomorrow i'd have to face him again and this time I wanted to show him that i mean it when I said I'm different... i reached in my pocket it grab the napkin with the Tom's from the bar number and started dialing it on my cell...

"..hello?" he answered

"Hi Tom, it's Jude.. did i wake you?"

"JUDE!" there was a difinate change in tone "How are you..?"

"good good you..?"

"I'm good." the conversation kind went silent until i heard Tom finally speak again

"Jude, it's 330 why are you calling?" shit, the time slipped my mind..he probably thinks i'm a whack job!!!

I let out a laugh and appoligized about the time and explained why i was calling " well, i wanted to thank you for everything you did tonight, and since our time was cut short i was think maybe we could go out tomorrow night for dinner say around 6?"

"is jude harrison asking me out on a date?" he laughed "Of course i'd love to go out with you.. but what about Tom, i mean he didn't seem to keen on the idea of you seeing anyone.. or talking to them let alone.."

"Don't worry about tom, he understands.. now be at Gmajor at 6 and we will head out. Have a good night Tom see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Beautiful." and with that we hung up the phone and i went to be with a smile looking forward to tomorrow.

THE NEXT DAY

"okay just one more time Jude.. just making it perfect her." Tommy was trying to concentrate fully on work.. he hadn't talked to me once today besides my tempo being a little off and sounding shakey but i could tell there was more he wanted to say like DAMN JUDE YOU LOOK GOOD.. all day he's been staring me up and down.. really everyone has.. not to sound cocky but today was my date and i was going to look good.. i wanted people to know that i was going out and having fun still and not worrying about little tommy Q.

"Tom, i've done it atleast 40 times and theres always something wrong... i mean it's alomst 6 now and we still haven't finished the final take!" I was now mad because i didn't want my date coming here and having to wait while i finish battling with my producer.

"Once more.." Tom said sternly and i obeyed singing my song once more with power and focusing hard to be my best.

"that was great Girl.." and with that i shot tom a look "..i mean Jude."

"well this was fun but i'm going to head out for the day see everyone tomorrow." I waved bye and walked out of studio A noticing Tommy had followed.

"Jude want a ride home.?" he said as a turned to look at him.

"no tommy i'm not going home.."

"well where are you going.. i'll give you a ride there." Tommy started to question it.

"i have a ride thanks." I said with a smile..

"with who..?" i could tell it would kill him if i kept it in.

"with me.." a voice said from behind me, i turned around and smiled at the sight of the person who stood infront of me.

"why hello tom." I said looking from him to an inraged and green eyed Tommy who was at a loss for words.

"alright tommy have a good night." I let out a giggle and took toms hand and started walking.. but you know i couldn't make it to the door without hearing

"JUDE! STOP!" ..me and tom both turned to look at tommy who was walking toward the us filling the gap we had just made..

"what tommy?" i was pleased with his reaction..

"Buddy how old are you?" Tom looked suprised with the question..

"25" Tommys mouth dropped..

Tommy started to go in for the kill but Tom was a bigger man.. not in size but in other aspects as he just leaned in and stated to tommy that we were at his work and that it wasnt worth it.. what a guy i thought!!!!

Tommy just looked embarressed and turned to me as yelled"Jude common.. HES 25.. he's even older then me!!"

"Yes Tommy he is.. and i don't care and want to know something.. he doesn't either!" i put a emphasis on the last word wanting him to know that if only he didn't care before.. this could have be him..

'jude..you know.." he started but i cut him off just in time.. "tommy just drop it.. i'll see you tomorrow." he countinued to fight it but i left with the bigger and older man of the two..

THE NEXT CHAPTERS ARE SWEET) SO R&R AND I'LL PUT THEM UP ASAP!!!!!!!!!!


	5. One Up McDreamy

sorry about not posting for a bit guys ) ) i promise i'll make it up to you.

anyways this chapter goes ahead a few months and a bit to just before Judes birthdat which i've made November 19th. k great. Jude is dating Tom and Tommy is completely going crazy about it.. untill he realizes that two can play this game.. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"jude, do you like the blue or black one better?" Ej question her, she'd been bugging her for the last 2 hours over he birthday party, Jude just shook her head and pointed not really caring which one her finger landed on.. "Ej please just let me go.. i'm tired..i'm bitchy and i'm going to throw up if i have to test another cheep perfume.." Jude started to get up but Ej pushed her back down and simply said "This is the one night where everything will be perfect and the only way your getting out of here is if every square is covered." God She could be evil Jude thought to her self not noticing the door open "why hello ladies.." that voice it's Tom "Hi babe, sorry i can't get out of this..Ej is crazy.." Jude whined "are you crazy Jude you didn't tell me you wanted to leave to see McDreamy.. go for it!! have fun looking great together" I didn't hesitate and just left as fast as i could with Tom in tow.

"thank you" she said as she laid a kiss on Tom's cheek walking towards studio B "i was going mad in there..shes going overboard with this whole party thing now.." i started to go on ".. but it is going to be an important day i mean.. then we can do this.." she kissed Tom with passion "..in public" "where ever" whenever" "we want" she got out in between kisses, he just smiled as Jude went in for anotherkiss untill they were inturrupted by a loud pircing giggle that almost made Jude's ears bleed, Jude shook her head and turned around expecting to see some dumb new intern flirting with Liam but instead what she saw was so much worse.. 

She saw some tall, beautiful brunette girl walking out with him hand in hand, they both looked happy with huge smiles on their faces, that was untill they spotted Jude and immeditly they both acted coy by letting go of one another.. "hey Jude.." tommy smiled "this is Karma, she's going to be the next instant star.." She giggle "tommy we don't know that yet, but hopefully!" she smiled at Tommy and back at me "nice to meet you Jude, i'm a huge fan.." i reached out my head in return knowing exactly who she was.. there had been rumours about the two hooking up over the last few months but i choose to be naive about them "Hi nice to meet youKarma.. this is Tom, my boyfriend." I said noticing Tommy flinch at the metion of the word.

"Boyfriend eh?" Tommy said "that's great.. i mean don't all 25 year olds wish to date 17 year olds.. it's probably mid life crisis i'm sure i'll have one in a couple of years too buddy." Jude couldn't believe what Tommy was saying she was pissed " Tommy.. how dare you.." "Karma, Tom do you mind excusing us for a minute.. i need to talk to Tommy alone.." Everyone exchanged glances untill Tom broke the silence and spoke "Jude, i'm going to get going.. i'll call you later baby" and with that Tom was leaving and Karma followed offering to see him out.

There was just Jude and Tommy now as they walked into Studio B shutting the door behind them.."Tommy, fuck you" Jude could hardly wait to show Tommy what she thought of him " how dare you say anything about me and Tom's relationship.. you have no right to judge.. him are you were him not too long ago.."

suddenly Jude was cut off by Tommy screaming "I WAS NEVER HIM!"

"You wouldn't give us a chance.. a few months ago when i came back and explained it all you weren't willing to give me the chance to be in the position he's in.. you didn't want to try Jude.. so don't you dare say that it's me.. no this one is all you." He finished turning his back towards me..

"no of course not, you haven't had a mid life crisis yet.." she spat back quoting his early remarks "you did have chance, but age was a problem and you couldn't see past it.. Tom can.. and i admire that he doesn't care what others think and after tomorrow it wont matter anymore.. i'll be eighteen and this will all be history, he will be my boyfriend open and publicly without a care.."

"And plus you have barbie to keep you company.. right?" jude pleded for an answer "you guys are together? and what everyone's been saying is true..your actually?" Tommy grabbed her hand "Jude, it's not like that.. were not together.. she justs flirts and i.." tommy stopped talking and shook his head " wait why am i explain this to you of all people, you don't get the right to know who i'm sleeping with anymore.." Jude looked in Tommy's angry eyes "Tommy.. so you are sleeping with her..?.. i should have know you'd do something like this.. Tommy i'm not mad go ahead.. sleep with who ever you want to.. i don't care.. infact i never did.." and with that Jude walked towards the door and before leaving spat out "just make sure that slut doesn't look trashy tomorrow at my party.. i mean i want all eyes on me..." and with tha she was gone..

Tommy just sat there thinking to himself.. he actually liked Karma.. she'd been there for him all this time and managed to take his mind off jude.. but then jude was well.. jude.. she was beautiful, smart, talented, passionate and she was the love of my life.. not was.. is.. but shes with McDreamy over there.. and lord knows he's probably planning to give her the world tomorrow.. but i'm not going to stop.. i'm just going to have to up one on McDreamy.. and with that Tom started to come up with a plan.. a plan to get Jude to take him back. 


	6. One love

tthis was the moment, the moment that would change everything.. when these doors open and i walk down these stairs, it will be life changing.. well atleast i hope it will be.." Jude quitly thought to herself.. 

Today was her 18th brithday and everyone said that everything would change today but so far she hadn't felt any different. she had gotten up, got birthday hugs from everyone and started to get ready.. no biggy.. she spent 3 and a half hours in hair and make up getting ready.. but honestly she looked good and everyone knew it.. her hair was platinum blonde, extended past her breasts with lose curls at the bottom cause this vitoria secret modle hair effect.. she was tanned and her make up was done natural with a smokey eye and to top it all off she had a tight leperod print dress that was tight and low cut on..

"wow Jude, you look.." Tom said as he kissed her check and looped arms with him as he was going escort her down the stair into the party.. "awe thanks, it's a big day.. i thought i should make an impression" she giggled as she heard her cue being called to enter..

"and now ladies and gents lets welcome the lady of the day.. Jude Harrison!" Kwest scremed on the mic as Jude emerged from the doors and appeared causing flashing lights, jaw drops and screams from the crowed.. no one could believe how incredibly Jude look.. she had a big smile on her face as she looked around the rooms at peoples exprssions untill she came to one of the one person who truly mattered.. Tommy.. he had a look of shock on his face like he didn't expect me to be dressed up..

Finally we came to the end of the stairs and were greeted with loving hugs from everyone from Darius to Portia but suprisingly enough Tommy didn't even bother to move form his spot to come say hi.. he just sat there causing me to hate him even more.. i couldn't help but stare at him hoping he would move from his spot and this wasn't lost on Tom who stepped infront of my view of Tommy and grabbed my hand " Care to dance..?" and with that we went to the middle of the dance floor..

The song started to play as we took position and a placed my arms around his neck and his around my waist.. it was nice but i couldn't help by find my eyes wonder to where Tommy was sitting only to find him not there anymore.. this puzzeled me.. did he leave? did he?  
my thought was cut short by the tap on my shoulder.. it had to be tommy i thought.. so me and tom broke apart for a second as i turned to face..

"excuse me jude this is for you.. " i looked down to see a little girl dressed up holding a letter.. wait a sec i know this girl.. this was Tommy's goddaughter.. "why thank you sweetie, you look very nice tonight" i said with a smile as i grabbed the letter from her hands.. she blushed a bit then ran off in the crowd..

i opened it up this not that said.. "meet me on the roof in 10 - Quincy" i read it over in disbelief "Whos that from..? Tom questioned.. i simply blushed and quickly made up a lie about it being from Jamie and Kat.. Tom didn't question it and we just went on dancing.. i spent the next 10 minutes thinking of an excuse to leave and one the 10 mins were up i just tapped Tom on the shoulder and said that i had to go grad some things that were needed for a suprise performance i was planning.. "do you want me to come with..?" Tom asked.. "No. you stay here and mingle.. have fun.." and with that i was gone and trying to get to the roof as quick as humanly possible..

I reached the Top floor out of breath and opened the door that led to the roof only to see something i could have only dreamed about.. there was Tommy sitting on a stool with guitar and over a hundred lite candles around him making a path way..

"oh my.." i gasped putting my hands over my mouth.. not believing what i was seeing.. "hey girl..happy birthday.." he whispered as he picked up the guitar and started strumming and opened his mouth and started singing..

_It's kinda funny how life can change Can flip 180 in a matter of days.  
Sometimes love works in mysterious ways,  
One day you wake up gone without a trace._

_I refuse to give up, I refuse to give in,  
You're my everything.  
I don't wanna give up, I don't wanna give in,  
So i'm going to sing about_

_One love for the mother's pride,  
One love for the times we cried,  
One love gotta stay alive, I will survive.  
One love for the city streets,  
One love for the hip hop beats,  
One love, oh I do believe,  
One love is all we need._

_Late at night out, still wide awake,  
Think this is far more than I can take,  
I thought my heart could never break,  
Now I know that's one big mistake._

_I refuse to give up, I refuse to give in,  
You're my everything.  
I don't wanna give up, I don't wanna give in,  
Everybody sing._

_One love for the mother's pride,  
One love for the times we cried,  
One love gotta stay alive, I will survive.  
One love for the city streets,  
One love for the hip-hop beats,  
One love, oh I do believe,  
One love is all we need._

_Baby just love me, love me, love me,  
Baby just hold me, hold me, hold me,  
Oh, love me, love me, love me. One love.  
Baby just love me, love me, love me,  
Baby just hold me, hold me, hold me,  
Oh, love me, love me, love me._

_One love for the mother's pride,  
One love for the times we cried,  
One love gotta stay alive, I will survive.  
One love for the city streets,  
One love for the hip-hop beats,  
One love, oh I do believe, One love is all we need._

_One love for the mother's pride,  
One love for the times we cried,  
One love gotta stay alive, I will survive.  
One love for the city streets,  
One love for the hip-hop beats,  
One love, oh I do believe, One love is all we need._

_My One Love is you.  
Hppy birthday Jude.._

as those last words escaped Tommys mouth i couldn't stop the tears from falling..it was beautiful.. the song was everything i've ever wanted to hear.. he went above and beyond.. and now it was just me and him standing alone on this roof.. i couldn't be responsible for my actions..

"Tommy that was amazing.." i said as i walked closer to him to reach out for a hug "Jude, it's true.." he said while holding me close and then breaking from it to look in my eyes.. "you mean more to me then anyone else..and i know i did everything wrong but i just want us to be to.." and with that Jude cut him off my pressing her lips on his and immeditaly intensifying the kiss.. he held her close and tighter untill she broke free and shook her head and just said "Tommy we can't do this.."

"Jude Don't.. please just give us a try.. i love you.." Tommy begged

"Tommy.. i mean we can't do this.. untill i break things off with Tom.." Jude let out a smile while grabbing tommy's hand and placed it on her heart.  
"your the only guy who i have ever let in here.. and your the one i want.. i love you too..." She gave Tommy a kiss and they both just stood there in an embrace untill Jude said "let me go down and talk to Tom and you stay up here and i'll come get you in 10 minutes." she gave him a quick kiss and walked away to go find Tom leaving Tom to wait on the roof..

Jude went down the stairs and looked around the room untill she caught Tom talking with a group of guys.. she walked over and lightly tapped him on the shoulder and grabbed his hand asking him to follow her to a quite place to talk.. the wondered round untill they found a empty room and they both walked in closing the door behind them..

"hey babe.. having a good party?" he grabbed her waist from behind but Jude pulled away and turned face to face "yeah it's been amazing but i have to talk to you about something important.."

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Tom walked back to the party, he had waited 20 minutes for Jude and she still hadn't returned so he decided to come see what the hold up was.. he started to look around the room seeing everyone but her and Tom so he started to search the rooms untill he reached one with the door closed and without knocking he opened the door to see th unthinkable..

There stood Jude and Tom in a passionate kiss.. with him holding her having his hands in all the wrong places.. the finally broke apart and Jude looked over to see Tommy's icy blues staring into hers.."Tommy.. it's not what you think."..she managed to get out while walking towards him "well i'm glad to know that we ended before we even started .." he coldly yelled out before turning around and leaving.. Jude could feel the tears well up in her eyes as she went out the door chasing after Tommy.

Tommy stormed through the crowd and managed to make his way to the parking lot before Jude caught up with him.. he could hear her calling out his name but he didn't care he just wanted to find his car and leave the party..."Tommy..please stop" jude pleaded inbetween sobs.. "Jude go back inside..i really don't want to hear your lies anymore" he yelled as he approached his car.."Lies Tommy? i'm not lying.. you just need to listen to me.." Jude cried out.. "No Jude I just need to forget this ever happened.." he said while opening his door and before getting in he coldy wispered "I need to forget about you.." and with that Tommy was gone leaving Jude, who had now fallen to the floor, all alone.. or so she thought...


	7. I Fell

So there she was high heels and all crying on the floor over Tommy again and the worst it wasn't even his fault.. This time it was all her.. She should have stopped Tom when he went to kiss her but she couldn't help but feel like she owed him one last goodbye embrace.. And now Jude couldn't help but think she probably had lost Tommy for good this time.. She kept crying not noticing the man walk past her as the next thing she heard almost gave her a heart attack..

"Well, well if it isn't Miss Jude Harrison herself" the guy said sly as he approached a frightened Jude, "What's a matter sweetheart.." he knelt down beside her "party not good enough for you?" and with that he reached placing his hand on the side of Jude's face causing her to immediately pull back.. "I'm sorry I should get going back inside" She stated as she proceed to get up but feeling the force of this man keep her down "No baby. Stay here, I'll show you a real party.." and with that Jude yelled unheard screams as the dark haired, muscular man got on top of her and started kissing her neck, Jude let out more tears, tears of pain as he held her wrists and proceeded to unzip her dress.. "No please.. Stop.." Jude cried.. But he just laughed and promised her "a good time." He got the dress off and with that Jude felt helpless.. She knew what was about to come.. She felt numb again.. He got off her to undo his pants for a quick second just giving Jude the perfect chance to grab her heel and kick him in the stomach.. By doing this the man grumbled and grabbed himself and crouched in a ball, giving Jude enough time to run off.. "Who knew These would be so helpful" she said grabbing the heels as she started to run not looking back..

She just kept running in only her underwear thinking about what had just happened, she had just been attacked and almost raped.. She was scared, terrified and with that she went to the one place where she'd know she would feel safe.. She grabbed out her phone and called the familiar number, still sobbing she wasn't surprised that he hadn't answered as she though back to the previous event of Tommy walking in on her and Tom, but she needed him and once she explained it all she knew he would want to be there for her. Jude managed to flag a taxi and directed it to go to Tommy's address, the man agreed but with hesitation as he noticed the cuts on her face and how she was just in her lingerie that had been an outcome from the attack..

"Here we are Miss" The man said as the car stopped in front of the big building "How Much?" Jude questioned "No charge tonight, you just be safe" he said with a smile, Jude didn't protest she needed something good tonight and who knew it would be in the form of a taxi driver..

She got out of the car and went up the door to find the usually pad locked door wide open, Jude didn't bother to buzz Tommy and just looked for his name by the paging system and found out the number of his apartment "867" Jude spoke out as she started to make her way towards the elevator. Going up was probably the most nerve racking thing she has ever done, she thought about what she was going to say and how Tommy would react once he found out the truth and how.. She lost her thought when she realized the elevator had arrived to the floor, she got out and walked to her right to find Tommy door until she reached the one that was labeled 867 and with that she knocked once, twice, three times until finally there was an answer..

"Karma?" Jude managed to get out as the door opened to revile a half naked Karma in Tommy's shirt, sex hair and all, it wasn't hard to figure out what she had just interrupted.. "Jude, Oh my god what happened?" Karma said genuinely concerned as she reached to touch my bruised face which was stained with tears now too.. "Nothing, Karma.. Nothing.. I just fell and was by Tommy's house and was coming to get ice and.." she tried to continue on with her horrible lie but she feel short and had nothing left when she figured out that she would have no answer for Karma when she questioned"then why don't you have clothes on?" not beieving anything she said "..Jude did you get?" Karma's eyes got wide as she realized what had probably just happened but before Karma could finish the sentence Jude answered back ".. Never mind, this was a mistake, I'm going to leave." And with that Jude started to walk away but not before she heard Karma yell, "Jude, at least let me get you some clothing" Jude stopped looking down at herself knowing she couldn't pass up the offer, "sure but please be fast, I don't want to be here much longer" and with that Karma disappeared into the apartment again and went back to Tommy.. Karma was being amazing about this and as much as Jude wanted to hate her she couldn't she knew that she would spend everyday thanking her for this she thought as she stood waiting in the hall until she heard the door open "Thank You so much Karma," but that wasn't the only person who stood in front of her, a shirtless Tommy who was obviously fighting with Karma to see who was at the door and he did manage to get an eye full.. "Sorry Jude he just followed me," Karma started but Tommy just shook his head and couldn't believe his eyes.. "Jude," he whispered, I felt so ashamed standing there like this so vulnerable, so helpless and so hurt by not only my attacker but worst of all him. "Tommy, save it.." I was now in full out tears ".. I just need some clothing." And with that I grabbed the clothes out of Karma's hands and ran towards the elevator.

I must have pressed in about a hundred times before the door finally opened but it wasn't fast enough as Tommy had managed to make his way to where I was and get inside with me, "..Jude where are your clothes?" Tommy looked me up and down but not in a sexual way but in a protective and saddened way, "like you care.." I shot back thinking to what he was just doing, "Jude, come on please I don't want to get into this with you right now, I don't want to yell at you again.. But please just tell me what happened" He pleaded, "You don't want to yell? Yell about what? You have nothing on me Tommy, nothing!!" and with that the doors opened as if on cue and I made my way out them again, "Jude, please, just talk to me.." he said grabbing my arm.. I flinched a little as it brought back the felling of being attacked "Tommy don't touch me, you want to talk? How about when you left me in the middle of the parking lot alone, didn't want to talk then.." Jude yelled in sobs, Tommy started to fight back until his eyes grew wide as it hit him "Did this happen when I left?" he knew it from the look on my face "Jude, did he, did they.. Oh Jude" and with that came A sight that I thought I would never see Tommy broke down in tears in front of my very eyes, he bent down unable to catch his breath and just started sobbing, you'd expect me to say something but I was speechless.. "Jude, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean for anything.. I was just so, You and Tom.. I hated you.." he got out in-between loud breaths and sobs, "Tommy, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you.." Jude said coldly as she left out the front doors Tommy was hurt but he wasn't stupid enough to let Jude walk home alone and he called out for her to stop and proposed that he drive her to her apartment, Jude didn't want to be alone in a car with him but she was too upset and scared to walk the distance home and took up Tommy's offer..

The car ride home was as silent as they come, she didn't cry, she didn't talk, Hell, she tried not to breath too loud, as she just wanted to get home and cry herself to sleep. The finally pulled up to her place as Tommy looked over at Jude shaking his head, "I don't blame you if you never talk to me again, but just know that I always loved you, it was always you, and I wont ever be able to forgive myself for causing you all this pain" he said as tears came down his cheek, Jude just let out a breath and finally spoke "Tommy, do you even know how much you hurt me today? Today was supposed to be the best day of my life but instead it was the worst, I'll think about it everyday, the pain it won't go away and want to know the worst thing I still love you, I will always love you but tonight you went too far. " She was crying louder and louder "..I was saying bye to Tom and he wanted a goodbye kiss, he said he understood that I loved you and that I deserved to be happy but he just wanted to give the birthday girl one last kiss and you know what, I owed it to him!" Jude yelled as Tommy gasped realizing his mistake "and you didn't trust me and what do you go an do, you run off to Karma! You say you love me, next thing I know you're in bed with her! And I can't say anything bad about her cause she's a sweet girl and doesn't deserve your mind games to be played on her! " Jude had stopped crying because now she was mad, she hated Tommy for causing what she was feeling and she wanted him to know that "It's funny thing, Trust, I mean it takes years to build but can be broken within seconds. Goodbye Tommy, thanks for making me legal. " And with that Jude got out and ran to her door as Tommy just sat there with himself and Jude's words playing over and over in his head, they wouldn't stop, until finally he heard a beep come from his phone that he had left in his car and with that he opened it to see "one missed call – Jude" appear across his phone, he cried again realizing that if he only had his phone, if he'd only answered maybe he wouldn't have lost the one thing that truly mattered to him. 


End file.
